


I'll turn into a monster for you

by lost_strayer



Series: Here are the names that our sons will learn [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Alec doesn't want his boyfriends to get hurt, Alec loves books and his boyfriends, Alternate universe - Mafia, Angst and Feels, Coma, Drugs, Established Relationship, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mafia Boss Jace, Mafia Boss Magnus, Malace, Multi, Raphael is a doctor, Tears, they love each other very much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:13:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8765581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_strayer/pseuds/lost_strayer
Summary: Being the boyfriend of not one but two of the most dangerous Mafia Bosses in the city doesn't really eases Alec's mind. He tries not to get involved in it, but what happens when tragedy strikes and leaves Alec without any other option?How far will Alec go for his loved ones?





	1. Don't go where I can't follow

Jace lowered his gun.  
"Urgh whose last words are 'I can't miss my golf tournament'," he murmured irritated as he watched the now dead body slumped to the ground.  
His ears pricked up as he heard quite footsteps coming his way. "Well, I mean if my killer would be as handsome as you I wouldn't have been able to think straight either.", a familiar voice chuckled from behind him. Jace smiled as he felt a hand traveling up his back and turned his head to stare at beautiful gold green eyes, skillfully rimmed with black kayal.  
   
"You're late", the blonde pointed out while putting his gun back. He straightened his blazer and the collar of his black dress shirt, making him look like he hadn't just killed one of the most notorious men in the city.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry, "Magnus said as he moved to stand in front of his lover. Jace regarded him. Magnus was always the 'dress to kill' kind of guy. With his gorgeous bronze skin, a beautiful contrast to his fine white suit and his jewelry and make up on point.  
   
"I talked to Alec on the phone. He wanted to make sure we won't forget our date later.", Magnus explained amused.  
Jace's smile widened as he thought of their cute boyfriend.  
Of his breathtaking blue eyes which would carry a worried look if something won't go as planned and the way his nose always stucked in one of his endless supply of books.  
He always knew that Alec didn't really approve Magnus' and his "lifestyle", mainly because of how dangerous and risky it is. Still, the love this boy held for them can't compare with anything Jace had seen or known in his life so far.  
  
A warm hand on his neck pulled him back to present. Magnus' several rings adorning his fingers were cool against his skin. "What are you thinking about?", the older man asked.  
Letting out a content sigh, Jace moved his own hand beneath  Magnus' white suit jacket and thumbed at his waist, feeling the handle of Magnus' gun peeking out of the waistband of his pants.  
He looked up at the taller man and whispered, "Well I think we shouldn't keep our baby boy waiting then."  
   
Magnus grinned at him. He gazed over to the body, blood was already pooled around it, ready to leave haunting stains on the smooth cashmere carpet. "I guess Meliorn will "clean" and finish this up?", Magnus asked.  
Jace nodded.  
Meliorn is a high ranking member in their Mafia Organization. Even though Jace wasn't fond of him, he must admit that Meliorn was good at his job. He was the one who suggested to finally take revenge on Mr. Lee Smith. One of the richest and corrupted men in the city but most importantly an allie of Sebastian Morgenstern. Their rivale Mafia Organization. For years the two enemies try to take each other down,  without much success until Mr. Lee Smith teamed up with Sebastian. Together Smith and Sebastian violated their territory, falsified papers to exploite their workers and locals and stole one particular antique necklace that was worth a fortune.  
   
But for Magnus it was priceless. It belonged to his mother before she died. Somehow they managed to steal it and kill two of Magnus' and Jace's men in that proccess. Since then Mr. Smith was on the top of their 'to kill - list', next to Sebastian. Well not anymore, seeing that Jace's bullet recently found it's way swiftly through Mr. Smith's head. Meliorn volunteered to organize the meeting and detect where the necklace is kept, so Magnus and Jace can take care of Smith.  
  
"We'll meet him at the warehouse, he should have the necklace with him by now." Jace explained softly. Knowing how sacred that necklace was for Magnus. Jace remembered the moment when they found out what happend, the way Alec had to calm Magnus down with his soothing voice and his hands on his face as Magnus snapped and lost control. Realizing he had lost the only thing left of his beloved mother. 

Jace snapped back to present, as he felt a tug on his hand. "Let's go", Magnus smiled at him. Jace smiled back and followed him, without sparing a second glance to the dead body crumpled on the floor.

*****

They were waiting in  front of the  warehouse, close to Mr. Smith's mansion. Even though everything had gone by plan so far, Jace was feeling uneasy. Something felt wrong. Meliorn should've been here by now. He turned to Magnus and was about to share his upcoming worries as suddenly bullets shot through the air, forcing their way into Magnus' chest and stomach, causing him to collapse to the ground.  
   
Not one second later Jace had his gun out. With two shots he had the shooter down, but not dead. He was always the best gunman among them. After Magnus of course. It took Jace all of his strength to leave Magnus and run to the fallen shooter, but he had to find out, who was behind their attempted murder.  
Jace kneeled down and pointed his gun to the man's temple.  
"Who sent you?", he hissed.  
"He will kill me if I tell you", the injured man gasped out.  
Jace snorted cruelly, "Oh don't worry, I can arrange that as well". He loaded his gun with a 'click'.  
"Spit.", Jace said through greeted teeth.  
"Meliorn", the man forced out, " Meliorn, he works for Sebastian."  
With full force, Jace knocked the man out with the handle of his gun.

Without wasting another second, the blonde ran back to Magnus and fell to his knees beside his lover, cradiling him in his lap. 

His white suit was already soaked with blood, his body shaking slightly. Jace took off Magnus' white suit jacket and ripped off the shirt he was wearing underneath. After that he took off his own black blazer and button up shirt, leaving him only in his white undershirt. He ripped his shirt in half and used them to put pressure on both of Magnus' wounds, wich leads Magnus to groan out in pain.   
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", the blonde whispered as he kissed his lover's forehead. " We're gonna get you out of here, you gonna be okay.", Jace tried to assure Magnus, but mostly  himself.  
He cannot panic now.  
Quickly and with shacky hands he pulled out his phone and  put it on speaker, not wanting to stop his task at hand.  
After a second ring a cheery voice answered.  
"Yes Boss. What can I do you for?" ,it says dramaticly.  
Jace hadn't even the strength to roll his eyes.  
Dismissing the greeting he hurried out an order, "Simon I need you to get down here. Fast."  
   
*****    
After giving his gang member all the information he hung up and resumed trying to stop the bleeding. There was so much blood.  
His Magnus' blood.  
'Shit it wont slow down.' he thought, feeling more and more panicked with every passing second.  
Magnus breath was now slow but ragged. His eyes were fluttering. Then his gaze was fixed on the man who desperatly tries to save his life.  
"Jace, list-.", he coughed out.  
"No..Magnus don't you dare die on me...d-dont you die on me, you hear me .", Jace interrupted him desperatly.  
With a lot of effort, Magnus grabbed his arm, his voice was as firm as it could get under the current circumstances.  
"Jace, Listen to me. Take...take care of him okay, take care of our Alexander".  
Blood was now dripping out of his mouth, but he doesn't stop speaking, a sad smile lingered on his face, "Give him a kiss from me and tell him I love him, okay", his grip tightend on Jace, he lifted his other hand and touched the blonde's face.  
Jace closed his eyes.  
He can feel how cold Magnus fingers are already getting. " as much as I love y-"  
"No."  
Jace cut him off. He couldnt hear this. This is not a good bye. It can't be.  
"No, I dont need to tell him that, because you will tell him yourself" he pressed harder on the wounds, determined not to give up.  
"You won't die Magnus. I won't let you. You will be stuck with me and Alec for a long long time. Please, just..just hold on babe."  
Magnus smiled again, closing his eyes. "You were never a fan of last words", he whispered and his grip loosened on Jace's arm.  
"No, no, no, no.."  
   
Just as jace thought this would be the end, a van pulled up the corner and Simon and Raj sprang out.  
"Thank God", he almost cried of relief.  
Carefully they got Magnus into the van, while Jace kept talking to him, trying to keep him awake.  
Raj was ordered to stay behind to take care of the bodies.  
   
During the ride to the hospital, Magnus had lost consciousness, but he was still breathing, preventing Jace from having a heart attack.  
Simon had sent Clary to the hospital to talk to Raphael, the head doctor and one of Magnus' best friends, and fill him in about what had happend.  
Just as Jace assumed, Raphael insists on performing the surgery himself.  
He won't trust the best doctors in the world with Magnus' life.  
Like Alec, the young doctor wasn't pleased about Magnus' life choice, yet he was down with treating their gang members, while making it as discreet as possible, to avoid any wanted attention to the Mafia Organization. He would just roll his eyes and murmur something in spanish about why he's always surrounded by idiots. Magnus would only grin and ruffle his friend's hair.

As soon as the van arrived at the emergency, Magnus was carried to the surgery room.  
Raphael was already in front of the doors and was talking to a nurse. He had already his scrubs and a surgical cap on, ready to perform the surgery.  
Jace moved to him at the same moment the young doctor was looking up.  
Their eyes locked.  
Before Raphael could turn around, Jace got a firm grip on his arm, trying to hold desperatly on the last hope for Magnus' life.  
"Raphael please, bring him back to me. Bring him back to me and Alec. Please.", he pleaded but let go of Raphael's arm.  
Raphael didn't say anything. He was just staring at the blonde's worried, glassy eyes.  
With a final nod the young doctor vanished behind the doors.  
Magnus' life was now in Raphael's hands.  
Jace's eyes were lingering on the closed doors when his phone vibrated in his pocket and pulled him back to earth.

From: Baby Boy  
' Almost done. I'll be home in a half an hour. Cant wait to see u two. Ps. I insist on getting spoiled later!!  
XX '

Oh God Alec. He doesnt know yet.

***  
WBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it so far.  
> Alec will be in the next chapter!!  
> How will he react? 
> 
> ...  
> Ps. Story and series title is from the song "Monster" by Mumford & Sons. I love this song so much, I just had to.


	2. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does Alec react after he found out what had happend and can Raphael save Magnus' life ?  
> The second chaper. Thank you for reading ! :)

*******

"Finally" Alec thought, as he turned off the lights of the bookstore he is currently working at. It's not like he hated his job, but after almost three weeks of studying, classes and working at the store, he hardly had any time to spend with his boyfriends.   
Also with Jace and Magnus "working" late the majority of the time, Alec would be asleep in their bed before the two of them even got home.  
Thinking of their job gave Alec chills as usual.   
He likes to pretend that his boyfriends had normal professions like any other person in the world.    
Who can blame him?   
Being the boyfriend of not one but two of the most dangerous (and not to forget, wanted ) Mafia Bosses in the city doesn't really eases Alec's mind.  But he loves them enough to try coming in terms with it, as long as they don't get hurt or bring back a dead body into their shared apartment.    
Besides they are really good at what they are doing, although it worries him that lately Izzy shows a horrifying amount of interest when Jace and Magnus discuss "work stuff".

But this evening there would be no studying, no killing people or blood stains on Magnus' or Jace's clothes.    
His boyfriends moved their evening "appointment" to this morning so the three of them can spend the evening together. There will be just them relaxing in their apartment with take out food a good movie and cuddles.   
And if Alec gets lucky, which he won't doubt, his gorgeous boyfriends will spoil him in bed all night long.

Thinking of them and their soon-to-be-happening activities conjured a goofy grin on Alec's face and makes him close up the book store faster, so he can meet his men at home as soon as possible.  
He grabbed his stuff behind the counter, turned around to move to the door and almost had a heart attack from the person standing in the shadows by the door.

Jace

Alec exhaled loudly.    
Relief washed over him as he moved to his lover, a smile planted on his face.    
"What are you doing here? I thought you and Magnus would meet me at h- .", his words were caught up in his throat as he took in the sight in front of him.    
Jace doesnt look like how he usually did, which is put together and confident with always a cocky smile lingering on his face.  
Now that Alec is standing directly in front of him, he could see what had been hidden in the shadows. His shoulders were slumped and his hair was messy as if he had run his hands roughly through it for a dozen times. His black dress shirt from this morning was gone, leaving him only with his white undershirt which he's wearing under his blazer. Alarmed Alec caught sight of the big splashes of blood on the shirt and on his hands.    
Jace's breathing was heavy and his eyes were red rimmed. 'Had he been crying? But Jace hardly cries'   
"Jace, oh my God, what happend?", Alec gasped.    
Hands reaching out, searching for injuries. The blond lifted his own arms and took hold of Alec's wandering hands. His grip was firm but with no intention of hurting Alec.    
Never hurting Alec.  
" It's Magnus. ", Jace said, voice raspy.   
That is all it takes to make Alec freeze. It felt as if the ground was swept away beneath his feet. "No.", he shakes his head slowly.  
"Please Jace, don't. This is not funny. I talked to him on the phone earlier. H-he said everything is going fine a-and that you'll be home soon. He can't be.", Alec rambled franticly. He knows he would have fallen to his knees if his boyfriend hadn't a firm grip on his wrists. Instead he was pulled into a warm embrace with fingers running soothingly through his dark hair.  
"Shhhh Alec.", the blond tried to assure Alec. "Something went wrong today. We have a snitch in our gang...Meliorn.  
We didn't know the meeting was all a set up. The actual plan was to get us killed.", his voice is getting angrier with every passing word. But the look on his boy's face, so lost and anxious, made him stop briefly and he continued in a whisper, "Magnus got shot twice.  
He is in surgery right now, b-but it doesn't look good. I didn't want to leave him but I needed to tell you myself", with one hand he caresses Alec's face, the other was now grasping his boyfriend's hand. "Come on, love, we need to get to the hospital.", he said as he pulled Alec out of the bookstore.

During the ride to the hospital Alec hasn't said one word,  however he refused to let go of Jace's hand, locked in his own sweaty one's. With his other hand, Alec caresses the talisman around his neck. A birthday gift from Magnus and Jace.  
The necklace has a round wooden pendant with an arrow engraved in it, symbolizing protection and defence. It became Alec's habit to touch the pendant when he was worried, anxious or even lonly, since the necklace never failed to give him comfort and remind him of the promise his lovers once gave him. That they'll always be there for him and protect him.  
Now it's Alec's turn to be there for Magnus. 

***********

When they arrived at the hospital. Clary and Simon were still waiting in the waiting room. Izzy had joined them and was pacing the room with a worried expression on her face. She looked up and immediatly ran to Jace's and Alec's arms, hugging them tightly. "He is still inside", she informed them.  
When she tried to pull out of tgeir hug, she felt Jace and Alec tightend the hold on her, not wanting to lose the comforting warmth of their sister/adoptive sister.  
She leaned back in and rubbed their backs reassuringly, "Hey, he's gonna be fine. Raphael will save him. He is one of the best doctors in the city after all.  
  
********  
While Alec and Izzy were talking quitly, Simon pulled Jace out of the room to fill him in about what had happend so far.  
With some help of their other gang members Raj had removed the bodies and all of the evidence which could have pointed to the meeting.  
Meliorn is still missing and apparently the shooter survived but is kept hostage at their warehouse in Brooklyn.  
  
With a grip on Simon's shoulder, Jace showed his gratitude to his gang member and went back to the waiting room. He took a seat next to Alec and let his head fall on his shoulder. The blond closed his eyes in exhaustion. He felt soft lips kissing his temple and heard words whispered softly into his ear," We'll get him back." Jace turned his head and stared at stunning blue eyes. Alec looked determined and sure, however his eyes still held the same softness and kindness in them as always. And Jace would do anything to keep it that way. Never would he want to see Alec's eyes look empty.  
  
Jace and Alec sprang up when they saw Raphael walked out the doors. Followed by their friends, they moved towards the doctor. Before they could say anything Raphael asked to speak to Alec and Jace alone. Respecting his wish, the others backed off (for now ). 

Alec was the one who started speaking, "Raphael, how is he?" he asked anxiously.  
"He lost a lot of blood but we succeded to stop the internal bleeding, which was the most crucial and hardest part." Raphael replied, "However there were complications during the surgery. One bullet almost destroyed one of Magnus' organs and did a lot of damage in his body.  
We almost lost him."  
Raphael paused and inhaled deeply while running a hand down his tired face.  
Even though Alec is sure nobody loves Magnus as much as Jace and him do, he knows that Raphael cares a lot about the asian man.  
They practically grew up together. It must be hard to see one of your closest friends almost die in your hands.   
  
The next words of the young doctor ripped Alec out of his thoughts.   
"He is in a coma right now.", Seeing the troubled looks on the faces in front of him makes Raphael continue much softer, "I'm sorry. That is all we can  do at this point. Right now his body is as steady as it gets. But we will see more when he wakes up.   
"You mean if he wakes up." Jace whispered harshly. More to himself than to anybody else. Blaming himself for not protecting Magnus.   
" Jac-." the doctor began, but was cut off by Alec.  
" No. Raphael tell us. Is he ever going to wake up ?" Alec tried, "Please."  
The doctor let out a shuddering sigh. " I dont know."   
He moved his arm and put a hand on Alec's shoulder, which suprised him, than one thing he knows about Raphael is that he isn't that fond of touching or being touched.   
"Magnus is strong.", he said, "He is one of my closest friends and I know he loves the two of you so much that he won't give up so easily.   
Believe me, he won't give up without a fight. And we all know, he is a fighter.", with that he squeezes Alec's shoulder lightly.

A beeping sound interrupted the silence between the three of them.  
With a sigh, the young doctor ran his hand through his curls.  
"I have to go but if I have any news, you will hear from me.'  
He looked over his shoulder to the room, where Magnus got transfered to.  
"You can go see him now.", he said.  
With a final squeeze on Alecs's shoulder and a nod directed towards Jace, he left to get to his many other waiting patients.

After saying Goodbye to their friends and promising them to keep them updated, Alec and Jace were ready to enter Magnus' room.  
Hands interlaced, they were standing in front of it.  
For a stranger's eyes it would be bizarre to see a young handsome man with an expensive-looking blazer holding hands with a boy whose dark oversized clothes had holes in it and whose hair was covering most of his face, trying to cast off any focus directed towards him.  
They wouldn't know that these two are a couple, getting ready to see their injured lover, who was laying in a hospital bed. After giving their interlaced hands a final squeeze, they stepped into the room.  


TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Magnus wake up ever again?  
> What will Jace and Alec do?  
> Thank you so much for reading and sorry for any mistakes.  
> xxx


	3. Safe in my arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry for such a late update. But I'm feeling more inspired now so there will be more soon. This is kind of a small filler chapter but I hope you will still enjoy it!

_Alec woke up with soft kisses being lovingly placed on his shoulders and neck, making him hum contently_  
_"Good morning my love", a low voice whispered in his ear. Rough and still heavy from sleep which Alec always finds kind of sexy._ _He turned around and found himself staring at Magnus' gold green eyes._

_With a smile Alec raised his arms and slung them lazily around his lover's neck. Magnus' fingers were warm on Alec's waist as the asian man bent down and kissed his boyfriend's lips, cheek and chest, right below Alec's talisman. Alec's fingers ran smoothly through Magnus' hair which were soft and free from any products, as Magnus burried his face in Alec's bare chest and closed his eyes._

_"I missed you.", Alec whispered._  
_"Missed you too, darling. Sorry that we haven't been around lately. But with the whole Smith thing, everything's been crazy." he murmured into Alec's skin. Pressing his lips to Magnus' head, Alec sighed, "I know." Looking at his side, he frowned slightly. "Where's Jace?" Alec asked, looking around their cozy bedroom in search of said missing boyfriend._

  
_Without giving Magnus any chance to reply the blond stumbled into the room. He had only his boxers and a white tank top on with three mugs in one hand and three plates on his other arm._  
_He grinned when he saw his two boyfriends cuddled up under the covers and staring at him. "Good morning sleepy heads."_  
_"You know we have trays in this apartment darling." Magnus chuckled as he watched Jace balancing their breakfast skillfully._  
_"Tzz those things? They are just for amateurs. I waited tables before just so  you know." Jace retorted with a cool shrug of his shoulders._  
_"You mean you waited their wallets rather than their tables.", Alec laughed, stretching an arm out which isn't currently buried in Magnus' hair, and prompted Jace to join them._  
_"Whatever a waiter is a waiter.", Jace grinned and put the plates and mugs on their night stand, accepting Alec's silent invitation._

  
_"Now move" he bummed Magnus with his butt so he can get room to lay down with them too." I also want to cuddle with Alec, don't be so selfish. You're not the only one who hasn't seen him for a while."_  
_Magnus rolled his eyes but still moved his arm to let Jace into their embrace._  
_Jace nuzzled into Alec's shoulder with a content sigh, happy that finally the three of them have some time to spend together even if it's just laying around in their bed and be lazy._

 _Alec hummed happily. Even though he had the two most dangerous men in the city in his arms, Alec had never felt more protected than as for right now._  
_"Do you have to go?" Alec's voice cut through the comforting silence. "I wish we could just lay here together the whole day."_

 _From his position on Alec's torso, Magnus moved so his chin was resting on his boyfriend's chest. "I know, me too, but after this whole business today, we're all yours again. Promise._ _And tonight we'll make up for every second we've neglected you the past weeks." he smirked and leaned in a bit to give Alec an opened mouth kiss on his neck, which gave Alec goosbumbs on his whole body._

  
_"Also you have work today," Jace added as he moved to get up, which caused Alec to let out a pitful whine. Jace laughed and handed his boyfriends their plates as they sat up. Looking down at his food formed a smile on Alec's face._

_He would never have thought that he would be lucky enough to have this. Always been to afraid of hoping to find love and happiness. Growing up hating himself of being gay and then to accept it only to get rejected and disowned by his own parents put him in a very bad place in his life. Depression and drugs entered his life. With the help of his sister and with the support of his boyfriends, being cared for and loved so fiercely by them pulled him out of his black hole and addiction._

_He looked up and stared at the men that made him happier than he had ever dared to hope for himself. "Be careful okay.", he whispered with a small voice. He knows he sounds like a whiny child but he hates it when his boyfriends have to leave to finish up some "business". He knows how dangerous and risky it can get and he just can't stop worrying._

  
_"Don't worry baby. Everything will be fine and  before you even know we'll be home and waiting for you." Jace smiled reassuringly and caresses Alec's talisman as Magnus gave him a kiss on his forehead. With a final sigh Alec nodded and was about to eat his food when suddenly he heard a beeping sound echoing through their room._

 _"Do you hear that?" he asked_  
_"I can't hear anything." Magnus murmured after a moment and took a bite of his toast with strawberry jam. There was too much jam on his toast so some of it fell on his white shirt. "Oh shit", he cursed and was about to swipe it off with his fingers, when Alec moved forward and said,"Let me". He turned around and took a napkin from the night stand and tried to ignore the beeping sound that was getting louder and louder. He was about to swipe away the mess on Magnus' shirt, when he noticed that suddenly the red color spread around the whole front of Magnus' shirt. Turning it from white to blood red._  
_"What the-" he looked up, but Magnus was gone. He turned around. Jace was staring at his hands, which were red with blood, dripping on their bed sheet. "JACE", he shouted but the blond didn't move._

_The beeping sound was now the only thing he could hear. Their room was gone, darkness was now surrounding him, swallowing him up and with a bold Alec shot up._

 

The beeping sound was still there as he tried to control his breathing.  
He was in a hospital room.  
He fixed his gaze to the man across from him.  
Jace. He was slumped on a chair. His blonde head pillowed on the white sheets of the bed between them as soft snores left his lips. Slowly Alec moved his gaze up the hospital bed.

  
Laying on it was Magnus.

His Magnus.

Pipes anchored him to the machines placed next to his bed.

Suddenly memories came rushing back to him.  
He remembers entering the room with Jace.  
He remembers how the latter suddenly rushed towards Magnus, tugging Alec behind him by their interlaced hands. How Jace collapsed on their lover's chest, sobbing out apologies after apologies to Magnus, while the older man was laying still, face pale with an oxygen mask on and chest slowly rising and falling.  
Alec had taken one of Magnus' hands as he spoke with a broken voice.  
"Hey love. We're here. Your Jace and your Alexander. You'll be all right."  
Jace had given a teary nod and taken Magnus' other hand to his lips. "Open your eyes Mags. Whenever you're ready. We'll be here."

So they had waited. Hands firmly grasping Magnus' limp ones, desperately hoping for the lightest movement from them.  
There wasn't even a twitch.

 

*****

  
"Get the boy."  
"Sir,.."  
"You already failed me once Meliorn. Don't push your luck." Sebastian said. His voice calm and dangerous. "If I can't have them dead, I want to take away what is most precious to them." He moved closer to Meliorn, who had his head bowed in obedience. Sebastian was now right in front of Meliorn, mouth directed to his ear. "I want the boy. Get him."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading! Next chapter will be up soon and contain more plot!  
> XOXO


	4. I'm just a broken boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we will find out more about Alec and his struggles.  
> This chapter was originally longer but I split it in half so the next chapter will be up as soon as I added some stuff in:)

_Jace sighed as he carefully sat up straighter in their bed. With worried eyes he watched Magnus doing pull ups in their makeshift work out place outside of their bedroom._

_It was five in the morning._

_Jace knew that his boyfriend only works out this early when something big is bordering him._

_Slowly he turned his head to see Alec still beside him, sleeping and softly snoring on his shoulder. Jace was sure that not even a thousand storming horses could wake him up from his deep sleep, seeing that he had just gone to sleep not even two hours ago. Dark circles were pooled under his eyes from the long sleepless nights of studying._

_Jace and Magnus had noticed that Alec had been stressing out about Uni and with the additional worry about the whole Smith thing Alec had trouble sleeping._

_Jace carefully caressed his boyfriend's cheek. "It's gonna be all right baby." he whispered and turned back to the Asian man, who pulled his body up in the air one more time before landing smoothly on his feet and moved on to the punching bag._

_His hands were wrapped with tape and the muscles in his back rippled with every hard punch he delivered to the poor bag. Jace noticed that Magnus' grunts were low and quite, than even then he tried to be silent so he won't wake up his lovers who slept peacefully in the other room._

_Jace sighed again and carefully climbed out of their bed, without waking Alec up. He made his way slowly to his boyfriend, who was now standing upright and secured the tapes around his hand once more._

_Jace slowly slung his arms around Magnus' middle, causing the man to jump at the sudden contact. He relaxed immediately when he smelled Jace's familiar scent. Jace gave his lover's sweaty back a tender kiss before laying his head on it and moved his hands to Magnus' chest, lightly caressing the smooth skin there._

_Magnus was still securing the tapes around his hand, but his body relaxed further in his boyfriend's hold as he spoke with his low voice. "You should be a little bit more careful my love, I could have punched you to the wall accidentally, with how quite you've been sneaking up to me._

_"Isn't it too early to be punching anything, Mags?" Jace asked with a raised eyebrow._

_Magnus sighed and let his hands fall to his sides in defeat. Jace knows him well._

_"Tell me. What is it?", the younger man asked softly, hands moving to Magnus' heart._

_"Is Alec still sleeping?" Magnus asked quietly. Jace nodded his head against his boyfriend's back._

_There was a moment of silence before Magnus began to talk, his voice quite and deep._

_"I found something._  
_Taped under the sink, at the very back.",he sighed. "There was a packet, an almost empty one."_

 _Jace immediately froze "Shit", he muttered under his breath. He let go of Magnus and looked back at their bedroom._  
_Alec was still sleeping, hugging Magnus' pillow to his chest._

_"When?" Jace asked and ran his hand roughly through his hair._

_After Alec became clean, Magnus, Jace and sometimes even Izzy would do a quick checkup in search for drugs in any possible hiding places in their apartment._

  
_It's not that they didn't trust Alec, but Magnus knows, how difficult it was to break a habit and get out of an addiction. They just wanted to be on the safe side._

  
_After a few months Jace stopped with their routine, sure that it won't be necessary anymore._  
_But still until now Magnus occasionally runs a hand under the sink out of habit or looked more than one time through their bathroom cabinet to be sure._

_"Yesterday night." Magnus answered._

_"How haven't we noticed anything, Magnus? He was clearly struggling with something big, that he had to find comfort in his old addiction instead of coming to his boyfriends. And we haven't even noticed." Jace was almost shouting but Magnus calmed him down with his hands on his shoulders._

_"I was so thirsty for my revenge on Smith, I didn't notice that we started neglecting him. It was all my fault. I'm so sorry.", he said before bowing his head in shame._

_Jace sighed. "No it's not, we were both caught up with the city, with our job, our gang and yes, we noticed that he was a bit stressed out because of Uni, but...do you think it's just too much for him? Being in love with two killers?"_

_He looked up at the taller man, trying to find the answer in Magnus' gold green eyes._

_Magnus was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh and let his hands drop to Jace's waist to pull him closer._

_"I know we do bad things, I mean look what we're doing for a living, but Jace, you and Alec are my everything. I would do worst to protect you two. I would turn into a monster for you when it means to keep you safe._

_He shook his head "I won't fail him one more time. We won't."_

_"So I guess we don't deserve a prize for being the best boyfriends this year?" Jace asked with a small smirk._

_Magnus chuckled. "No, we don't._ _But we love him and we will support him to recover from his relapse. He made it once, he can make it again."_

_"Our baby boy is strong. He can do it. We're gonna talk to him and we're gonna figure something out.", the blond agreed._

_Magnus nodded and leaned down to give Jace's hair a soft kiss, before he_ _noticed that his boyfriend's_ _gaze wandered to the punching bag._

_"You're done with that?" Jace asked him and pointed at the bag. "Wanna let some steam out. I'm not the biggest fan of myself right now."_

_Magnus smirked and gave Jace's shoulders a hard push. "How about letting me beat you up a little bit then." he said and swung his arm for a punch that Jace swiftly avoided with a quick move of his own body._

_He grinned and took his own position. "You wish babe." With that he lunged forward._

 

  
Jace woke up from Alec's voice.  
Hushed mumbled words came out of his boyfriend's mouth.

"I don't need it, I don't need it. He needs me. Magnus needs me. Come on Alec you got this. You don't need it." He rambled quietly to himself.

Jace noticed that Alec was breathing heavily. He heard the familiar rapid tapping of Alec's feet, which he does whenever he refused to give in to his addiction.

Slowly he sat up properly, bones cracking. 'Damn his back hurt, sleeping like that.'

Alec sat across from him. Both of his hands were firmly holding Magnus' left one, softly pressed against his forehead, eyes closed tightly while his body was sweating and trembling.

It was breaking Jace's heart.  
How hadn't he noticed that his boyfriend was still struggling with his addiction?

"You don't need it." Jace spoke up softly.

Alec's head shot up. "Jace..I...I-"

"We know about the drugs, baby." Jace cut him off. "Magnus found them under the sink, just a few days ago."  
He carefully let go of Magnus' hands and moved towards Alec to kneel in front of him.

"We were still figuring out how to approach you, but then...this happened."

Jace closed his eyes for a second, before looking at Magnus and then back at Alec.  
He released Alec's vice grip around Magnus' hand and took Alec's trembling ones in his before looking up at him.

"We're sorry, we didn't pay enough attention. We're sorry we let you down when you needed us the most, we're sorr-,"

"No stop, please. You have nothing to be sorry about." Alec interrupted him. "You two are always there for me..I just...I just caved.

This girl from my campus, Kaeli, she dragged me to one of our campus parties. I didn't want to go actually, but you two were so invested in your mission I didn't want to border you for feeling a bit lonely, so I agreed.

She offered me some of the stuff to loosen up. I refused and left the party, without noticing she slipped it into my pocket."

Jace sighed,"God Alec I'm so sor-"

"Mom and Dad called me on my way home." Alec interrupted him with a sniffle. "Only to remind me what a failure and disgrace I was for the family. How disgusting I was for being with not just one but two men. How I turned you into a 'fag' as well. Then they hung up, leaving me alone with the demons I've been locking up for so long. The demons who whispered in my ears how worthless I was.

At home I felt the packet in my pocket and went to the bathroom to flush it down the toilet.  
I was clean for so long, but I needed something, just something to take the pain away." Alec sobbed.

"So I took it and god Jace I had missed it so much, the demons that tried to crawl into my mind vanished and I felt so light.

  
Until it ended.  
I wanted to tell you but I felt so ashamed, because I just couldn't stop anymore."

Alec felt soft fingers wiping away his tears and he sniffled.

"I'm sorry. Magnus is laying here fighting for his life. While I'm here trying to run back to my stupid addiction. I'm a fucking junky."

"Hey stop." Jace finally rushed in. "You did so well. You just had a relapse. You recovered ones, you can do it again all right. I know that and Magnus knows that."

He took Alec's face in his hands. "And when Magnus would be awake now he would tell you the same thing. He will wake up and support you, I will support you, and Izzy will do the same.

Alec gave Jace a teary nod before gripping his boyfriend's arm firmly. "Please don't go after them. I can't have you laying on this bed as well. I need you here."

Jace shook his head. "Alec I..-"

And as if the angels called for her the door opened and Izzy came in. Coffee and bagels in her hands.  
"Uhm sorry did I interrupt something?" she asked slowly.

  
Jace and Alec let go of each other. "No it's fine." Alec told her quietly.  
She walked forward to give Magnus a kiss on his cheek.  
"I hope my brothers didn't get on your nerves Magnus.", she said with a smile.

The boys chuckled softly. Isabelle always knows what to say to lighten the mood.

She turned to them and gasped. "Wow Jace you look like uh..."

Jace looked down at himself. He still had the clothes on, from the day he killed Smith and Magnus got shot. Dirt and blood stains all included.

"Come on go freshen up. I'll stay here with Magnus and Alec." she prompted him. When she moved towards Alec she quickly slipped a note into Jace's hand.

He knows he should stay, he shouldn't leave Alec in this state, but he knows the note was from Simon. He had to take care of Meliorn and Sebastian.

So he got up from the floor and kissed Alec on his lips. "I will be quick. I love you." he whispered.

After that Jace moved to Magnus and caressed his hair. He leaned foreword and kissed his forehead before moving his lips to Magnus' ear. "Don't worry. They will pay for it. Hold on baby." And then he was gone.

"What was in the note?", Alec asked without looking up from Magnus' face, brushing his lover's hair with his hand tenderly.

Izzy was perplexed. "Come on. You saw that? But I was so quick."

Alec just raised one eyebrow at her.

She leaned back in her chair with a huff. "Fine. It was just Simon. Wanted to talk to his boss."

Alec sighed sadly and closed his eyes. He needed to be strong for Magnus.

 

  
*****

 

"PLEASE STOP PLEASE. HAVE MERCY." The shout of agony echoed through the warehouse.

Jace was leaning against the brick wall. He had showered and changed into a clean suit, watching how Raj slowly tortured their hostage by pulling a fingernail out of the man's flesh with a pair of pliers.

Jace held a hand up and moved forward. "I will ask you one more time. Where is Sebastian ?"

"I don't know." The man sobbed. "I gave you Meliorn's location, but all information about Sebastian was held strictly privat."

"Let's hope my men found Meliorn then. If not, it won't be your lucky day today."

Jace heard a van pull up and the door of the warehouse sliding open. Simon and Maia moved towards him with a frown on their faces.

"He's gone boss. Packed his stuff and left." Maia told him. "This was the only thing we found." She held up a satin scarf, with various flowers and leaves printed on it.

"Fuck." Jace muttered.

He turned to the bleeding man and pulled his gun out, pointing it directly to his head.

"Not your lucky day is it then." he smirked

"Please. Please. Mercy" the man begged.

"You lost all mercy when you pointed your gun at my family." Jace told him firmly.

He crooked his head to the side a bit. "Sleep well." he whispered before pulling the trigger.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Get ready for the next chapter including our lovely Dr. Santiago and Mr. Snitch Meliorn. And of course our favorite boys Malace!  
> XOXO


	5. Tell me you won't leave us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and nice comments. Here's the next chapter, I hope you like it. I'm sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy:)

 

"Sir. You wished to talk to me?" Meliorn asked and carefully looked up at his boss.

He knew the man was not pleased. He had a frown on his pale face, almost as pale as his white hair that throned on his head.  
One month had passed and Meliorn still couldn't get his hands on the Lightwood boy.  
Alec was guarded 24/7, it was simply impossible.

"You know Meliorn." Sebastian said with a calm voice. "I'm getting impatient. And when I get impatient I will get angry and when I'm angry I do bad stuff."

He moved his hand to the waistband of his pants and pulled out his gun.  
"Bring her in." Sebastian commanded.

Two men entered the room and dragged a young woman with them.  
She was struggling, and whimpering, but a gag prevented her to do more.

  
"Kaelie.", Meliorn gasped and moved forward, but one of the men held him back by his arms.  
Kaelie wore one of her countless flowery satin scarfs, that Meliorn loves to gently peel off of her petite body whenever the two of them get lost in each other.  
That image was now replaced with Kaelie's scared eyes, which were wide open in shock.

Meliorn struggled against the firm grip on his arms.  
"Please don't. I tried, but he's always guarded. I tried." he pleaded. His eyes never leaving Kaelie's shaking form.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian told him, his voice bored as he loaded his gun and pointed it towards the woman's heart. "I guess you have to try harder."

He turned to Kaelie and whispered, "Close your eyes sweetheart."

Meliorn turned his head. The gun shot and the sound of a body dropping to the floor said enough.

Sebastian walked up to him and pulled his head up by his hair sharply.  
"I will say it only one more time. Get me the boy." he growled. "Or else, the next one will be your sister."

 

*****

After one month Magnus still hasn't woken up and Meliorn and Sebastian were still nowhere to be found.

Thanks to that, Alec was never allowed to be alone anymore except at their loft or in Magnus' hospital room and even there a gang member would be standing outside and guarding the door.

"Sebastian and Meliorn are still on a loose baby." Jace had said after Alec had complained to him that he didn't need babysitters following his every footstep. "I know you don't like it but please do this for me. And for Magnus. I need you to be save."

Jace on the other hand, was either at the hospital next to Magnus' side or at his gang's condo, figuring out how they can get a hand on Sebastian and Meliorn.

The blond barely slept anymore. The guilt and nightmares haunting him kept him awake most of the times.

On one day Alec had caught him going through Magnus' rings and glitter supply.

He had caressed each one of them carefully and silently with his rough fingers before breaking down and violently swiping everything off the shelf, showering the floor with glitter and jewelry.  
He had gone to Magnus' wardrobe then and ripped the clothes from the hangers with a painful shout.

"Magnus will kill you". Alec had said with a sniffle, hands fidgeting with the hem of his oversized sweater while he was standing at the doorway. His eyes were red and burning with unshed tears.

But Jace hadn't even turned around, instead his knees collapsed and he fell to the floor in defeat.  
"I wish.", he had said, with a crack in his voice. "I wish he would bold through the door right now and yell at me, punish me, anything, when that means he would be awake, here with us and not in a fucking hospital bed fighting for his life because I wasn't fast enough to protect him."

After that, Jace had stood up and gently dismissed Alec's soothing words and comforting arms.  
With a mutter that he had to go back to his gang and continue searching for Sebastian, he had vanished.

 

During that month Alec fell back into his addiction twice and every time he hated himself more for it.

Which brought him to his current situation, where he's sitting in the waiting room, digging his nails into his thighs as his foot tapped the floor in a fast pace, eyes closed in concentration.  
His body was still trembling and yearning for the sweet trip of euphoria the drugs could provide.  
But he needs to resist it, Alec told himself.  
He just needs to sweat it out.

"Alec, you okay?", a familiar voice asked slowly, ripping him away from his thoughts.

He opened his eyes to see a curly haired doctor standing in front of him.

Raphael.

A sad and worried look was grazing his face.

"Y-yeah I'm okay, I was just waiting for Magnus' check up to be over. I think the nurses are still insi-", he cut himself off when he looked at the time. He couldn't believe he sat here for more than three hours and tried to suppress his cravings.

He shook his head and stood up, avoiding the worried glances Raphael was throwing his way.

"Alec. I need to talk to you.", the young doctor spoke up. "Is Jace here too?", he looked around and sighed before fixing his eyes back on Alec, eyes which were so very tired.

"Uh, okay one second. I will call him." Alec said and pulled his phone out.

They had fallen asleep next to Magnus, as usual.  
He remembered how Jace's phone had rung in the morning and coaxed him from his sleep.  
Jace had ended his phone call in a hushed whisper and stood up.  
Without moving from his sleeping position and with his eyes still shut, Alec had felt the lightest touch of a kiss on his hair before it vanished. After that he had heard the sound of Jace kissing Magnus and a quiet whisper of 'I love you' before the door opened and the blond left the room.

The call only reached Jace's mailbox.  
Alec tried again, but Jace still didn't pick up.  
A feeling of worry washed over him and he sighed, hoping his boyfriend was all right.

"He's not picking up." Alec told Raphael  
"But it's okay, just tell me."

Raphael took a deep breath and ran his hands roughly through his hair.

"Raphael what's going on?" Alec pushed.

With a sad sigh he locked his eyes with Alec's and slowly explained.  
"We have the test results. Magnus' vitals are dropping.  
The possibility of him waking up is sinking more and more after every test we make."

He stepped closer to the younger man, while his voice was turning softer.  
"Alec if it continues like this, I want you to know that it's up to you and Jace if-."

"No, never." Alec interrupted him, eyes growing wide in disbelieve.

"You have to consider that he might never wake up." the young doctor tried to explain softly.

"Raphael it's been only one month!" Alec shouted.

"I know that, Alec." He exclaimed firmly "You think, I don't want it to be different? This is one of my closest friend inside there. My brother."

Their burning gazes were fixed on each other, jaws clenched, before Raphael blinked and shook his head.

"I'm sorry." Raphael breathed. "I just want you to know that Magnus had signed, that you and Jace, have the right to-" he sighed and ran his hands through his hair once more. "That if something like this would happen to him, you two have the right to let him go."

"Rapha-"

"It doesn't have to be now, or the next months or even years, Alec." He cut him off firmly but gently. "I just want you to know that, both of you. So you can come in terms with it, if Magnus' condition doesn't improve."

"I won't pull the plug. He will wake up." Alec declared, his voice firm with no space for arguments.

With that he walked out of the room. Closely followed by one of Jace's gang members.

"I hope that, Alec. So much." Raphael muttered sadly and glanced away from Alec's retreating steps.

 

*****

With a tight grip on the mans hair, Jace pulled his head out of the ice bucket.

"So you want to tell me now what you know or should I help you out there as well?" Jace growled and signaled to the wires and power supply which were used for electrocution torture.

The man still gasping for air shook his wet head desperately. "Please no. Please, I will tell you."

Jace smirked and patted the hostage's cheek roughly with his hand. He moved to sit on the chair opposite from him and fixed his gaze on the miserable guy.  
"I'm listening." he told him calmly.

Sebastian killed Meliorn's girl. He was supposed to bring the boss something, something from this city, I don't know what, but he failed.

Sebastian is threatening Meliorn now with killing other of his family members.  
You should watch out. Meliorn's here in Brooklyn. And he's angry.

"That's all you know? Anything more specific?" Jace asked. Anger and frustration straining his voice.  
"What do you know about his girl?"

"Nothing. I..I just saw here as they dragged her into the room but that was it." he stuttered and tried to fight against his restrains.

Jace got up abruptly and moved to the electro shock device.

The man's eyes widen in shock.  
"I swear. Please. I swear. The boss is very secretive. Please mercy.", he begged.

But Jace had no mercy. He pulled his gun out and loaded it. "I needed more, I'm sorry." he said and was about to pull the trigger when a strong voice fought its way through his head.

"Jace. Stop."

Inhaling deeply, he turned around.

"Izzy. Stay out of this." he muttered

"I think Izzy is right, Boss." Simon told him with sad eyes. "We know how you feel, but-"

"No. You don't have a damn clue about how I feel." Jace cut in. "I need to find those bastards and give them what they deserve."

He moved to the whimpering guy on the ground and pressed the gun firmly against his head. With red eyes but a steady voice he fixed his attention back to his sister and his gang. "I'm going to torture them and kill them slowly and painfully. Because this is what they deserve. To feel the same pain as I do, every time I see my boyfriend laying unconscious in that hospital bed. Everytime I see Alec's sad and hurting eyes. The same pain when I watch my family slowly falling apart and I can't do a damn thing about it."

"So no, you don't fucking know how I feel." Jace shouted, the hand holding his gun was shaking.

"But we know, you're not a killing machine." Izzy told him firmly.

"You and Magnus, you fight for our city, for our people, you just kill people who truly deserved it." Maia chimed in. "You taught us that we're not monsters, that we have class."

Izzy moved towards her brother and told him in a soft but still in her usual strong voice "Let's call in Clary. She should draw a sketch of the woman, seeing that he had caught a glimpse of her. Maybe we can find out who she was. That could help us to get closer to Meliorn."

They were all silent, eyes fixed on their boss, waiting for his reaction.

Then Jace pulled his gun back and away with a nod.

Without saying one word he stood up and walked away.

  
*****  
Alec sat on the bed next to Magnus carefully, being aware of the various wires on his boyfriend's body. He doesn't know how to feel about the fact that Magnus had put the fate of his life in Jace's and Alec's hands. It was making everything just so much real.

He slowly leaned towards his boyfriend's limp body with tears running down his cheeks.  
"Please wake up, my love." He whispered,  
"Please Mags. Don't leave us, please. We cannot live without you? Don't you understand?", Alec sobbed and caressed Magnus' cheek, being careful of his mask.

"Who would be there to pull Jace from the clouds and ground him when he thinks he can conquer the world. Who will sing to me when the demos in my head are getting to loud. Who would be there to be loved by us." Alec's voice turned more desperate, Raphael words that his lover might never wake up again clouding his mind.  
"I need you to open your eyes. Open your eyes and tell me you won't leave us. Please Mags."

There was a light knock and Alec messily swiped his face with his long sleeves as he heard the door open and a nurse entering the room.

"Sorry," she said with a sad smile. "Dr. Santiago ordered me to bring you Mr. Bane's belongings.", she told him quietly. She signaled to the bag in her hand and put it on a chair across the room.

Alec nodded his head and whispered, "Thank you."With a quick nod and a small genuine smile the nurse retreated and left the two lovers alone.

For a second Alec's wet eyes lingered on the bag.  
Then he carefully laid his head on his lover's chest and closed his eyes.

  
  _  
"Wow." Alec gasped, when he saw the various guns on the wide table of Magnus' office. There were so many and Alec had to admit that some of them were beautiful._

_"You want one?" a familiar voice spoke up behind him, before he felt strong arms circling his middle._

_"I can teach you how to use it." Magnus whispered into Alec's ear before leaving a soft kiss on his neck._

_Alec stretched his arm out and lightly caresses one antique looking gun with a brush of his fingers._  
He was silent.  
It was scary how something so beautiful can take a life, by the simple pull of a trigger.

_Alec slowly retreated his hand and turned in his lover's arm with a shake of his head._

_Magnus smiled down at him. God he was beautiful.  
Alec noticed that whenever Magnus felt angry or protective of his lovers or gang members his unique eye color will change from soft green yellow to blazing gold. He would do anything to protect him. And that is what scares Alec._

_So beautiful and dangerous at the same time._

_"I'm good." Alec told him then and pressed himself closer to Magnus. "I would rather like you to teach me something else."_  
Magnus raised one eyebrow, his eyes glowing in delight. "What would that be?", he asked with a low voice.  
Alec bit his lip and leaned up to whisper in his lover's ear. Thoughts of guns and murder leaving his mind.

 

Alec opened his eyes again, Magnus' slow heart beat thumping in his ear.  
He needs to protect his family. He can't sit around, being their small addict boy waiting to be taking care of. He needs to act, just like Jace and Magnus would have done for him.

Slowly he sat up and looked down at Magnus. He had never seen his boyfriend so vulnerable and weak before.  
Alec could understand Jace now. He can feel the same burning anger, Jace must had felt, boiling within himself.

The first time in his life he was thirsty for revenge.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to his forehead."I'll never give up on you. I love you." he whispered against Magnus' skin.

After he gave Magnus' forehead a peck he stood up and made his way to the bag at the opposite corner of the room.

For a while Alec just stood there and looked at it.  
Blue eyes unblinking.  
Inhaling deeply he opened the bag

 

*****

"Look?" Izzy stated and pointed at Clary's sketch." Does something look familiar to you?"

Jace leaned in. The scarf. It wasn't exactly the same one but very very similar.

"So the scarf belonged to her." Jace whispered.

Suddenly the door of the warehouse slid open and Simon entered with a rather big dog trailing happily behind him.

"And that's gonna be a job for the dogminator." Simon announced dramatically as they watched Maia joining them with the same scarf in a gloved hand that they found in Meliorn's apartment a month ago.

"Nope." the blond shook his head. "It's a waste of time. I hardly think there's still enough scent on it to track anything down. Besides, where do you think he's going to lead us. She's dead."

"Come on boss. I'm sure he's going to lead us to Meliorn or give us something to work with."

"Yes. We don't have anything else right now." Izzy chimed in, "Except one tortured body after the other one and no crucial information."

"Let Junior here have his time to shine. Just one try." Simon begged.

"What happened with Senior actually?" Maia asked suddenly. The hand which wasn't holding the scarf was on her hip.

"I don't want to talk about it." Simon muttered. "And actually Maia that's very rude to as-"

"All right, all right one try." Jace interrupted them with a sigh.  
He's just gonna get it over with real fast, so he can check on Alec.

There had been several missed calls from his boyfriend on his phone but when he tried to call him back Alec didn't pick up. Not letting the worry cloud his mind he leaned forward and gave Junior a scratch behind his ear.

"Okay, buddy. Show me what you got." he said and let Junior sniff on the scarf.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Alec up to? TBC!


	6. Be still and know that I am here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys first of all I one to apologize that it took me AGES to update but I just had (or might still have) this huge writer‘s block. 
> 
> And the second thing I want to apologize for is this chapter. It’s very short and a flashback from Magnus‘ pov (mostly). A kind of a filler chapter to get me a bit motivated and my writing flow moving. 
> 
> And lastly thank you for all you guys still reading and supporting this story! Love you and I hope I can complete this story soon!!

 

>  

_With a tired sigh Magnus slowly closed his front door._

_He was exhausted, so Jace sent him home with a lingering kiss and a promise to come home as soon as they wrapped everything up with their gang. All he wants to do is to cuddle up with his beautiful boyfriends and relax for some hours before he has to take up the responsibility of ruling and taking care of the city again._

_Speaking of which, Alec should be home by now. He was just about to call out to the younger when he suddenly heard a muffled voice. 'Alec?' Magnus called out softly and walked towards the sound of the voice, which lead him in front of their bathroom. The door was ajar, so he peeked inside and saw Alec on his phone, nervously pacing the floor back and forth, his breath rapid and heavy._

_Magnus was about to enter the bathroom but then Alec continued to speak with a shaking voice. "I..I just need some. No-not much." he breathed into his phone. He was shaking. ''H-hey hey what do you mean you don't have anything anymore.“Alec said, „Come on you always have something. I-I just need a little..just something, even a little bit of dope will do."_

_With sad eyes Magnus watched him tugging on his messy hair roughly. Alec had been clean for over three months. They had hoped so bad, that this time Alec had won the battle against his drug addiction._

_"Double?”,Alec asked with wide eyes, sounding devistated. “Don't do this, come on. Ok-okay okay I'll pay you the double. Please just-ju"_

_That was the point Magnus decided to open the door fully and showing his boyfriend his presence. With an abrupt move Alec turned around and immediately ended the call. Eyes wide in shock and fear._

_''Hey M-mags I was just- just..'' he stuttered. His sweaty hands were fumbling with the hem of his grey sweatshirt. "You don't need it Alexander." Magnus cut him off softly and moved towards his boyfriend, steps careful, afraid of frightening Alec._

_"I do." Alec croaked out. '' I do need it. If I don't use it, the voices won't stop. They will keep on pushing and pushing until I..." Alec cut himself off with a sob. Magnus was now right in front of him, but Alec was to ashamed to look at his lover. He couldn't bare to see the disappointment and pity in his eyes. So he turned his face away._

_"I‘m sorry I‘m such a disappointment.'' he said painfully. ''I understand that you and Jace don’t love me anymore. How could someone?''_

_Before Magnus could say anything, Alec collapsed on his shoulder and let out a stream of sobs as he clung on Magnus' body. Magnus held him to his chest as Alec continued sobbing, even when they collapsed on the floor. Magnus doesn't even care that his new designer suit will get all crinkled sitting on the bathroom floor and having Alec heavily sobbing on his shirt "Leave me please. I don't deserve you. I cannot give you anything I am just a junkie.'' he croaked out._

_Magnus held him tighter. How could Alec not see it. How special he was, how much happiness he brings into their relationship. He couldn’t see that Jace and Magnus would go to the end of world for him._

_But instead of telling Alec that, he started caressing his lover‘s sweaty hair and took a deep breath._

_Magnus' voice was smooth, when he started to sing into Alec's ear. **‘Be still and know that I'm with you Be still and know that I am here’**_

_Alec‘s sobs quite down slightly. This was the same song Alec sang to Magnus after his best friend Ragnor got shot and died in Magnus‘ arms. He had been a mess for weeks and Alec used to sing this song to him, whenever the pain became too much._

_‘ **When darkness comes upon you And colors you with fear and shame Be still and know that I'm with you And I will say your name‘** Magnus knows that Alec was ashamed of his addiction and he knows that Alec is trying his hardest to get out of it. But Magnus knows that even the strongest can fail sometimes. _

_**„If terror falls upon your bed And sleep no longer comes Remember all the words I said Be still, be still, and know“** Alec pressed himself closer to Magnus and buried his face in his lover’s chest. _

_**If you forget the way to go And lose where you came from If no one is standing beside you Be still and know I am.“** Alec started to stop sobbing and Magnus leaned down to whisper in his lover's ear. '' And so will Jace. Always. We are never going to leave you.'' When Alec blushed and ducked his head Magnus gripped his chin lightly so they could lock eyes. „We would be nothing without you. You are our happy place, sweetheart .“ _

_..._

_When Jace arrived home, he wasn’t all to surprised to see both of his lover asleep and cuddled up on the floor. It happened more than once that Jace himself clung to Magnus or Alec or both of them when the burden of life was to much even for him to lift._

_He carefully walked up to his boyfriends and knelt before them. They both looked so exhausted but still so beautiful. He doesn’t know what happend, but he knows that that’s a conversation for tomorrow. Now he has to get his lover’s into their bed and into his arms._

_He ran his hands softly through Magnus spikes, stopping at his face and rubbing his thumb across his cheek. Magnus slowly stirred and immediately looked down at Alec but relaxed as soon as he saw that his lover was still there and sleeping._

_„Hey Love.“, they blond whispered with a soft smile. „Let’s get you and our baby boy to bed, don’t you think. We both know you’re not the youngest anymore. Not long anymore and we’re going to see yor with a cane in the hand and bossing the gang around, if you keep sleeping like this._

_Magnus snorted softly and rolled his eyes, pushing Jace’s head away playfully._

_Together they brought Alec to their bedroom. Jace was carrying him, setting  Alec on his usual place between them on their shared bed. Jace was hugging him from behind while Alec’s chest was pressed against Magnus’. Alec was safely tugged in his lovers’ arms._

_Magnus sighed. „I hope one day, he will understand how lucky we are that he chose us to love him. Our sweet boy.“_

_Jace locked his eyes with Magnus‘, pressing himself closer against Alec’s back and said. „He will. One day“_

_With that they both gave Alec a sweet kiss, before stretching over Alec’s head to give each other a quick kiss good night._

_“Love you.“, they whispered at the same time._

_When Magnus closed his eyes he had one only thought on his mind. ‚My happy place.‘_

 

 

At the hospital Magnus was still laying in his hospital bed, his body still attached to the machines next to him.

But nobody noticed Magnus‘ eyes moving under his closed eyelids and the small twitch his fingers gave.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this small filler chapter. Thank you for reading !!! XO
> 
> Song used in this chapter is „Be still“ by The fray.


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